I quit on myself

Aside from being a criminal, being lazy or a quitter were about the worst things you could be in my father’s eyes.

He would say people remember who quits.

He’s not wrong.

Quitting and laziness are choices.

To quote the great Michael Jordan:

“Once you quit, it becomes a habit”

I’m not trying to sound like every instagram alpha yelling never quit.

Just the opposite.

I’m being honest.

I quit.

I quit mentally.

Quit caring.

Quit trying.

Looking back it was weak.

It was lazy.

What makes it worse is that I chose it.

Day after day.

Life wasn’t going how I expected, and instead of acknowledging that…talking to someone… doing something…

It was easier to just say hell with it.

I did enough to pass as a productive member of society.

But there was no growth.

I was numb.

I can’t even listen to the music I was into from that time.

It takes me right back to that version of myself.

The one I genuinely did not like.

Which was strange…

because I had spent most of my life being kinda cocky.

Maybe that was an act all along

and I didn’t even realize it.

I convinced myself it was over.

So what’s the point of trying?

Man… I was lost.

Ok, enough of that.

I’m not a tough guy pretending I’ll never quit.

Because I already have.

In a way.

I clocked out for a bit.

But that’s what’s so cool about this life thing… it gives you another round.

I got my ass up.

Took a standing eight count.

And got back in there.

I’m not dominating life.

But I show up.

Every day I choose to try.

To care.

To move forward and get better…even if it’s slow.

Because I could never let my kids see me disappear like that again.

Fall down eight times.

Get up nine.

It ain’t over till it’s over.

For what it’s worth.